Singapore, Singapore — With an appeal to his search marketing friends to “transform search engine marketing,” David Temple said Saturday that he’s running for the president of the United States.

Temple made his announcement on twitter, plurk, facebook, and ping.fm to a fragmented audience. His hero Abraham Lincoln said in 1858 that “a house divided against itself cannot stand” and Temple added “neither can a search engine.”

It was here during his tenure as a a regional head of search marketing, Temple said, “that I was reminded of the essential decency of the American people — where I came to believe that through this decency, we can build a more hopeful America. An America where spam is eliminated, we don’t see the color of hats and search engines know what we’re looking for before we even type it.”

Temple will begin his campaign grass roots movement online and won’t travel in order to save gas. Temple said “Other candidates are spending millions of dollars, dollars that could go toward organic search or usability studies for websites. I will devote all my campaign dollars to making search results more relevant.”

Temple, 53, who has been a search marketing consultant for ten years and served one year in Singapore, acknowledged his political inexperience. “I recognize there is a certain presumptuousness in this, a certain audacity to this announcement,” he said. “I know I haven’t spent a lot of time learning the ways of Washington. In fact I’ve never been to Washington but I know that the ways of Washington must change if the search engines are to change. If there’s anything I do know, it’s change.”

This is purely satire and the views here do not reflect my views or any views of any person real or fictional. A shoutout to my friend Emory Rowland who is also running and let me in on the secret.